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Operation-365/Interview 519: The Man Under The Black Hat

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“I see a lot of kids every day, and I see a lot of the struggles that they and their families go through,” he begins as he explains his work and life. A man of value and wisdom, his calm and quite demeanor contrasts the blurring sound of a busy St. Louis bar. I listen intently to his words, realizing that a small hole has grown in my heart. I find myself slightly off-center­, a little dishonest with myself—the guy under the grey hat.

It wasn’t that I did not try. I was hanging with a very energetic and creative bunch. A group I had just spent a full day working with, now joining them for after hour drinks.

I did make few attempts at casual conversation, but something was missing. Not so much in the spirit of those around me, but something much more personal. A feeling that has pushed me to review my contributions to the day as I consider my contributions to the world around me.

I step into the shadows of the room and, getting honest with myself, I re-position in quiet conversation with my assistant, and good friend, Jonathan. I still my mind as a much clearer picture focuses. I had placed myself into a web of the day’s review. Caught in the strings of self-profiling and visions of what’s next. A mindset that is projecting a mirrored evaluation of myself directly on the very society that is living right in front of me. Funny how at times, in our desire to fit in, we isolate our minds and hearts from one another.

I lean over to Jonathan. Do you see that guy? Pointing to the stranger in yet another hat. A rather cool looking gentleman, who across the room, is talking with Jill (a very sweet girl from the production company we had been working with that day.) “Yeh, I was just looking at him.” Seems the man under the black hat has caught the intrigue of Jonathan as well.

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There was something about this guy that grabbed both of our attention. Was it his edgy look that pulled at us? Or were we being mentally manipulated? Seduced by the darker temptation to profile? A habit that I’ve worked to overcome since the early days of Operation-365, and one that tonight is belaboring me from acting on instinct, gluing me to the very corner that I promised to break away from: the ringside stool we call presumption. Plus, after a few awkward attempts at general conversation, and not wanting to interrupt my unknown friend’s connection with Jill, I hesitate, but only for a moment.

With warm words Jill turns to her friend, “You have a lot to share.” I reach out my hand.

“I see a lot of kids every day, and I see a lot of the struggles that they and their families go through,” says Kyle, and edgy he is not. More intoxicating is the caring tone he carries in his words. Kyle is a man dedicated to bettering the world. His life turned to educating families through providing primary and preventative healthcare for children.

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He expands, “I know every school in every school district needs to have rules and guidelines that they have to follow. I understand and respect that. But, ultimately it comes down to the individual and the work ethic of the child, and I think that is a direct reflection from the work ethic of the parent. That’s something that really can’t be taught. It has to be learned. It is one of the most important jobs as a parent. To teach their children a good work ethic. They’re not necessarily responsible for teaching them the basics of math or science, but it is their responsibility to teach them a solid work ethic, to teach them manners and how to treat others, all factors of a good education. That’s something that you are not going to learn in the classroom. It’s something that is taught by the parents and learned from their actions. That’s something that parents need to understand when they are raising children.”

As a parent myself, Kyle’s words resonate deeply. Hard and to the point they are, but in his delivery can be felt the greatest of compassion for the world ahead. Kyle owns his passion. In his works can be seen real effort. Of greatest importance to him is not himself, but to do what he can to ensure a healthy future for our kids.

He looks ahead, “Another thing I take a lot of pride in, and put a lot of work throughout my education and my profession, is childhood obesity. I think there has been a lot of movement in the past few years to really promote healthy lifestyle. More are looking toward the future and helping to prevent and break this cycle of obese children and core morbidities. Going back to instilling some of those healthy habits in kids now. To help prevent the continuing trend of childhood obesity, that’s again something that the parents can do. They are the ones buying the groceries and putting the food in front of their children. They need to understand the implications of teaching their children how to be healthy.”

“I’m big into the word hope right now, something that has been preached to me by my family” Kyle shares. Yet, in his admission, he elaborates, exposing his heartache of a recently broken engagement and other trials. In his eyes, a curious blend of pain and joy. Well earned and tempered, I’m sure.
Kyle3“Hope is a good thing,” Kyle adds, “and no good thing ever dies. So if you are hopeful and wake up every day hopeful, with a positive attitude, good things are going to happen. That is coming true for me.”

I ask Kyle to define love.

Borrowing from the lyrics. John Mayer. “Love is a verb.

“’Love is something that you do not have to say to feel. Love is an action. It’s something that you show. It’s something that you express to the person that you love. It’s not simply going to bed, or waking up, saying ‘I love you.’ That’s easy. That doesn’t take any effort. Anybody can do that. It’s me showing you that I love you. That’s what love really means to me.”

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